David K. Williams, Jr.
I have often kidded about and exaggerated the horrible apocalyptic warnings from the Al Gore Cult of Global Warming if we humans do not reduce our comparatively miniscule contributions to "greenhouse gases" and implement some policy akin to Cap and Trade.
It is no longer an exaggeration. Auden Schendler, the Vice-president of Sustainability at Aspen Skiing Company (no, I did NOT make up that title, I swear), says we are doomed to "a world like Cormac McCarthy described in his novel 'The Road'" if we do not shape up and become better stewards of Mother Earth. (See "The first casualty of climate change" in today's Denver Post.)
For those unfamiliar with Mr McCarthy's novel, it is perhaps the most depressing novel ever written. At least I thought it was until I read his other novels. Let's just say Mr McCarthy has a bleak view of humanity. I doubt he would be much fun at a cocktail party. But I digress...
Mr McCarthy never describes the cause of his post-apocalyptic world in "The Road." Somehow, however, the entire planet is covered with ash. Nothing grows. Nothing. The sun, blocked out by a gray sky, is never seen. Never. Things are so bad, people have become cannibals. Yep, cannibals.
And Aspen's VP of Sustainability says this is our fate within 50 years if we do not ACT NOW! He and his Chicken Little ilk want the government to control all carbon dioxide emissions, no matter the effect on the world economy. I mean, c'mon! After all, living in a hut without running water or heat is far superior to an ashy, gray world rife with cannibals!
When the government decides how much CO2 each company can produce, the world will be safe. Of course, the intellectually privileged in the government will make those decisions. After all, they are far smarter than us mere citizens and have our best interests at heart. Of course, these intellectuals would never hand out preferable CO2 allowances to favored companies that make big donations, would they? Since this never, ever happens in government it really should be of no concern.
In any event, carbon dioxide, including both the man made and naturally occurring kind, makes up 3.6% of all greenhouse gases. The man made contribution to the CO2 in the atmosphere is 3.2%. The remaining CO2 in the atmosphere occurs naturally. You know, from, like, breathing. And rain forests decaying. So destroying the rain forests actually helps curb greenhouse gases. Wouldn't a world without rain forests be superior to an ashy, gray world rife with cannibals? I guess not, but I am no intellectual. I will leave those decisions to my intellectual betters. You know, like Charley Rangel and Joe Biden and Sean Penn.
Water vapor makes up 95% of all greenhouse gases. Putting a lid on the Great Lakes would be more effective and less costly than Cap and Trade. I demand a lid! Or at least ketchup for my first meal as a cannibal.
Do we taste like chicken?